You’re not wearing this hat for fashion. You’re wearing it because it tells the truth you’re too tired to repeat. “Alcohol Infused,” embroidered and unbothered, stares everyone in the face like a challenge. You didn’t come here to behave. You came here to exist loudly, or at least buzzed. Pick your style: snapback, dad hat, trucker, or beanie. Pick your color like it’s your drink order. This is a crown for the proudly dehydrated.

You’ve got a rotation. The dad hat for errands that end at the bar. The snapback for backyard parties where the grill is on fire but no one’s worried. The beanie for winter drinking sessions that start as coffee runs. The trucker for road trips with nothing but bad snacks and good intentions. This hat doesn’t care where you’re going. It’s just making sure you show up like you meant to.

It’s not trying to be ironic. It’s accurate. You’ve got a head full of stories and a bloodstream full of decisions. This hat belongs on people who know how to order for the table and still forget their own drink. For the ones who buy shots with money they don’t remember making. For anyone who says “just one” and means it, until they don’t.

It shows up to weddings and wakes, birthdays and Tuesdays. It hides hangovers and starts new ones. It’s a conversation starter for people who don’t need small talk. You put it on and people either want to drink with you or fight you. Sometimes both. Either way, you’re ready.

Gift it to your most unstable friend. The brunch hero. The rooftop menace. Or keep it for yourself as a little warning label stitched on your head so no one gets surprised. It’s not subtle. It’s honest.

“Alcohol Infused” doesn’t mean drunk. It means ready. And if they don’t get it, they probably weren’t invited.

Wear it like your name’s already on the bar tab.